No More of That Body-hating Hogwash!


You’ve had some high times over the years. Now, you stand in the rough—in a brand new world. You’re trying to figure out how you might best express yourself, and how you want to be received.

You want to get your edge back, dammit! What to do?

You want to feel and look exquisite from head to foot to soul. You’re a midlifer, and one mother of a multi-tasker. You can absolutely be a fiery vixen if you wish. Or, a thrill-seeker. Or even a frill-seeker. You can dance the Jailhouse Rock, you can wear socks with platform sandals (!!) —because that’s actually in style, and anyway—at this point in life, you can do whatever the hell you please.

All kidding aside: you are a woman of worth. You need to get primed and ready for a very wonderful time of your life—and if afraid of what may be involved in that idea—just behave in alignment with the belief of achieving.

Decide to take stock in yourself. Wait, that’s it!

Based on my personal experience, one way to stay ahead of the curve is to exercise the body in a consistent way. The reason—aside from the obvious benefits that we are already so well aware of—is so that you feel good moving through space.

No more of that body-hating hogwash! This is your time.

The one thing you can control—for as long as you have such a gift—is caring for and investing in your body. And some sort of fitness practice whether it’s yoga, cycling, weights (which are key to put in play as we mature) or even brisk walks, as long as it’s happening regularly—will lift your spirits, enhance your glow, and your body will loooove it!

I promise you one thing: not only will you feel better and feel energized (nothing like an invigorating endorphin burst), you’ll boost resilience and nurture your self-confidence, to do things like dating again if that’s you and you’re ready. By developing a routine and staying with it, you’ll also be building a platform to stand on when the floor under you is moving—and yes, the floor always seems to be moving in one way or another.

Fitness acts as the glue to hold you together when you need it most. And it’s a great way to meet like-minded people; people who take stock in themselves. And that’s catchy—another good thing.

If you’re fearful of starting out, one way to counteract that fear and flip it into fuel is to take action by coming up with a list of positive outcomes that you personally want to get out of your commitment. And then, dive in! Make plans with a friend to commit to a routine, and then go for coffee afterward. It’s fun—you’ll be surprised!

I love staying fit not only because it helps me to feel good in midlife, it burns off steam and helps to manage stress—which keeps me from getting into too many scuffles on the streets of New York City. As John Ford, played by Henry Fonda said in The Grapes of Wrath“I’m just trying to get along with out shovin’ anybody around, that’s all.” 

Now, get it in gear Woman. Make it happen! 

Honesty. The Emphatic Choice.

“No legacy is so rich as honesty”

-William Shakespeare

I’d say I’ve learned much of what’s important to me through bursts of obsession. I try my best to know what I don’t know, and then feverishly seek out the how-to’s to bring the clarity I need to move ahead. Much of that, of course, is in my DNA. The way I’m wired. Perhaps it’s the healthy part of my sometimes unhealthy perfectionism — the side of it that serves me well.

When I examine myself in the relationships of these endeavors, and in my inner circle — the underpinnings of my entire life journey — I think about three things.

Intuition, courage, and honesty.

Sure, life is full of surprises. Some that blindside us, and some that we instinctually see coming, but sometimes choose to look away from.

Perhaps it’s a conversation we’ve been avoiding — the mere thought of being unguarded and vulnerable is just way too uncomfortable. At work, with family, and in relationships we care about, we have a hand in a better outcome — if we step up and lay the truth out on the table.

When we do that two things happen: we reinforce the self-esteem we should be demanding for ourselves, and we invite the person on the other side of the table to join us on our side, and share their truth.

Ruthless compassion on your own behalf inspires others to ignite the same for themselves. And then, everything lifts to a richer level, reaching for the pinnacle of exchange and outcome. We get more accomplished, more efficiently, all with greater clarity and truth. Authenticity illuminates what once was a dimly lit path.

Honesty. It takes guts. And fortitude. It’s about coming out of hiding.

Think about what might be possible if we muster the courage to dive into a conversation with radical honesty — when we share with full heart and listen with even more heart.

Suit up. Own it. Be emphatically and soulfully honest. 

Find your day of reckoning. It will be revolutionary.

2013. Resolve to Evolve.

I’ve never been a fan of declaring specific resolutions, mostly because they don’t usually pan out the way I’d hoped. It’s natural though, particularly at this time of year, to take a look in the rear view mirror and reflect on this past year.

I like to view the experience of life as being woven by vibrant pathways of feelings. That’s essentially the determining factor in what makes relationships whole, and time well spent. We reflect on feelings that emerge from what worked, what we accomplished, events that caused pain or disappointment, reminders of the struggles we worked through, and where we fell short.

When is the last time you honestly asked yourself how the people in your inner circle make you feel?

How do you truly feel as you’re immersed in your day-to-day life?

We can be gifted in seeing the good in others, the light in people, but we must be mindful of their shadows, their masks. We must make deliberate decisions of discernment and be thoughtful of who we grant access to our inner circle. Are the people and experiences close to you lifting you up? Bringing you love and joy? Inspiring your growth? We need to refocus attention on this, and stay on it.

“At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

Truth is, if you could create a life filled with love and meaningful relationships, if you could paint your clean white canvas just the way you wanted, how might you best do that? What got in your way of moving towards that this past year? What choices kept you stuck, in that same icky rotation? Did you create a better life for yourself? What helped you clear the space to do that?

I’ll say this: painful experiences of change can work wonders to create space within us, positioning us to be open to accepting new energies. They can lead us to stand at our easel, take hold of our paint palette, and design our unique life, fashioned with hand-selected treasures.

Evolved and revealed to the world — as you.

Change doesn’t come without challenge; however, we must look for what’s perfect about the change and then create the best outcome. In this post, I describe one of my great life losses, and how that loss served me the grand opportunity to create a new and fully expressed life and a business that I love.

And in this post, I share my personal views on divorce, another intensely painful experience. The best medicine? A radiant investment in oneself with an intense commitment to blossom. Exclamation point. Accepting things to have been is the only way to move forward.

With the grace of trust in myself, and with the grit of devotion in doing what’s aligned with my true self, and with the thrill of true presence, I’ve arrived at a new threshold of resolve and clarity. It feels really good. But, without staring down the dragons of change, I’d never have arrived here.

How can the changes you’ve endured be transformed into a renewed spirit and a vibrant you?

Deliberately push doubt off the table. Clear the decks.

Release the anger that doesn’t serve you, and let that simply fall away.

Make space. Stay open.

Redefine your magnificence.

Get set. 2013. Break into it. Resolve to Evolve.

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