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“She’s Illuminating & Heartfelt” @ The HuffPost

I'm talking about your deal breakers and must haves. What's most important to you and what are you willing/not willing to compromise on? Take a real, hard look within. How did you show up in your last relationship? How did your partner show up? What do you want to be different? Stay true to what you want and need, and go from there.

Getting clear about what you want will help guide your mind in all kinds of positive directions to help you find and attract the right situations and people in your life. Accepting a situation that is anything other than what you truly want will surely create unhappiness, and keep you tied to a man who's not right for you.

"A Woman's Guide To Smart Dating in Midlife"
Just like corporations have a board of directors, human beings each have their own internal Board of Critics. Our true desires are twisted in a juggernaut with our ever-chattering Board of Critics who issue directives we feel conflicted to follow.

The conundrum: we acknowledge that our financial requirements can be adjusted based on a lifestyle choice, while in the same breath; we struggle to admit that we cannot have it all -- when in fact, we're not all that clear on what our all actually is. In reality, many of us avoid that conversation all together. We ignore our tiny voice screaming inside. How's that working for you?

The equation of high achievement = high quality of life is not all that accurate.

It's highly individualized.

"The Naked Truth Between You And Achievement"
In 2008, I ran up against my wham. I was a 22-year veteran exec of a Wall Street firm who was unceremoniously shown the door. Through the darkness of personal collapse I slowly evolved, finally realizing that softening into gratitude beats the vulnerability of grief to the punch. And ultimately, {I found} gratitude to the firm for showing me to the door, offering me the gateway to the best chapter of my life. Once I got up off the floor and the shock subsided, and I finally stopped feeling like a victimized washed-up old troll, I realized they gave me the gift of liberation; the golden opportunity to create a life I love. A life fully-expressed. Today, there is no delineation between my professional and personal life; it is together, a clear reflection of who I am essentially.

"Midlife Women After the Wham"
I've been tossing and turning at night, indulging in the "might have beens" a passing look at her childhood pictures wondering: "Did I do enough? Have I really prepared this young woman who was a baby only yesterday for all the decisions to be made in the real world? We must acknowledge the results of creating our total identity around our kids. They grow up. And they fly. And all we want is to witness their health and equipped independence. Nevertheless, we stand bewildered over the fast passage of time. Seems we never have enough time with our precious miracles. Am I right, mommies?

"Mommy's Courage, Chaos & Climax of College Admissions"
A marriage split casts implications that are more complicated than meets the eye. Life packs the proverbial punch, and we perhaps find ourselves headed into that dark tunnel. It's overwhelming and terrifying. However, if we look down at our feet -- we are still standing. And we do have choices. Fear not.

A marriage is a tremendous investment of oneself, and — barring extenuating circumstances — a great accomplishment whether the outcome is lasting or not. I view marriage as an offering of tremendous personal growth. The agony of the demise stands as a testament to the depth of the investment made. We marry with the best of intentions, and then things shift.

"Women, Divorce & Keys to The Aftermath"
Give yourself permission to think bigger and to want more. Thriving after a big life change is a conscious decision. You don't just wake up one morning and start cruising on all cylinders. Decide to dream a bigger dream for yourself, and want more for yourself. Without wanting, we stagnate. Wanting fires up the perseverance that powers us to take the next step. Wanting fires up the imagination. Wanting fires up our life.

Think back to a time in your life when everything just "flowed." When did you feel freest? When were you the most radiant, most alive, most fulfilled version of yourself? Where were you? What were you doing? Who were you with? That joy was generated from your genuine, true, authentic self. Reclaim your power…

"6 Essentials To Moving Fearlessly Through Fear"
Your legacy is largely out of your control -- so, don't worry so much about it. We work hard in life -- kids, relationships, careers -- we honor integrity, are mindful of our reputations, and so on. In reality, it's safe to say that decent human beings do the best they can. Perceptions, though, often shape legacy. Wealth, human contributions, passions, leadership -- essentially everything we leave behind is up for debate. And even if you've led an exemplary life, you may not be happy about how you're actually remembered -- and in any case, you'll be dead. So, don't worry so much -- just live. In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, "The only reward for virtue is virtue."

"On Do-Overs, Lessons Learned and Second-Chances"
When was the last time you immersed yourself in an activity and completely lost track of time? Your whole being immersed, your emotions energized, firing on all cylinders, aligned solely in deep focus on one activity -- exclusively? In the zone, on a roll, in the groove, wired in, on fire, in the moment, in tune -- experiencing total engagement with absolute concentration? I love being in flow. I relish the freedom of all external thought. I love when time is irrelevant, when nothing matters other than the object of my sole focus, and I enjoy the personal satisfaction of achievement -- matching skill to challenge.

"Get Your Flow-jo On!"
Falling victim to the "need to please" can wreak emotional havoc on our lives, causing us to continually second-guess ourselves or put off making decisions… The cycle of needing approval starts in childhood, when we learn that if we behave a certain way, our parents will approve. It carries over to school, where we learn that if we do what we're told and follow all the rules, our teachers will reward us. Then, it follows us to the workplace… The need to please cause us to buy things we don't need and can't afford to keep up with and impress people we perceive as being better connected… We keep up with the Joneses, even though we can't stand the Joneses…

"STOP the Obedience Insanity"

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“She’s Illuminating & Heartfelt” @ The HuffPost

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